A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT :: progress over perfection

 

Lately I've had the word "evolve" on my mind. I feel like this season is one in which I am evolving. I am growing, changing and learning how to be the woman I feel called to be. At some point, I stopped being a youth, I stopped being a girl, I stopped looking forward to "growing up", and I actually grew up, I became a woman, the woman I hoped to someday be. The day finally came. So it's hard, and confusing, working out how to be someone you never thought you could be. But here I am. Melisa, 26 years old, and feeling just as clueless as I was at 15.

I am assured that I have purpose. And with that purpose comes understanding; an understanding that I  am made for more, am capable of doing more, and filled with the hope of there being more. Meaning, I am not done. I'm not done on my journey of becoming; I have not yet become. Although, I am evolving. Like clay in a potters hand, I am losing shape, yet gaining new shape. It is uncomfortable, painful and difficult. More so, it is fulfilling and a joy. I will someday long to relive these days again and so my prayer is that I am present.

Present each morning as I wiggle my toes and I feel the tiny aches in my legs. Present in the laughter that fills our home when we've become delirious because of lack of sleep. Present as I sit at my desk and work towards tomorrows goals. Present as I cook meals that will nourish our bodies and prepare them for the following years. Present as we play with our sweet girl Gretch. Present as I pray for tomorrows future. Present.

It's easy to be dissatisfied with where you are in life, but it's so much better to have joy in knowing that there's more. That someday still exists and things can only get better from here. Your life may not be perfect. I know that mine is not. I would much rather progress over perfection because progress says we're growing. You are stronger each day through your struggles and hardships. You are more, each day, and that is enough.

xo. mel

T I P S + A D V I C E :: thirty ways to a better a day

Sure, we all have bad days but we do ourselves a disservice when we allow the bad days to get the best of us. Giving in to a bad day is simply a waste of precious hours you could be using to do something incredible. So, in order to battle the bad days, here's a list of thirty ways to have a better day.

Call up an old friend

Pet a dog

Read a magazine

Eat some chocolate

Go for a run

Light a candle

Say hi to a stranger

Twirl in your dress

Write something down with a permanent marker

Open up your bible

Disconnect

Think of your best day

Turn on your favorite song

Go to Target. Walk around. Breathe.

Give someone a hug

Write down five things you're good at

Give someone a compliment

Watch this video

Drink some chai

Take a selfie

Paint your nails

Take a bath

Buy an unneeded beauty item

Talk

Go to a yoga class

High-five a friend

Dream of a perfect day

Learn a new joke

Roll your windows down and dance while driving

Smile

I know life can get hard. I understand that sometimes it's easier to call it a day and shut the door and wait for tomorrow. I know that life is worth the struggle though. So in the midst of the bad days and terrible moments, take a step back and try to make it better. If for no other reason than your sanity. You can do it! Here's to a better day!

xo. melisa

S A Y :: free people, free people

Lastnight I had the privilege of speaking at our Wednesday Night Youth Service. I was the perfect mix of nervous and excited. I have gone through a two year discipleship program where I got my ministerial credentials, 4 years at a bible university and been involved in ministry for 10 years, I've taught Sunday school classes and led small groups, but I have never ever preached a sermon. Why? Fear, nervousness, feelings of inadequacy... all of the usual suspects. So, Elisha regularly tries to get me on stage and I always have some excuse not to. Well, this time he got me. He asked and I said yes (and then immediately regretted my decision). As I prayed and thought through what I wanted to share, I began to get more and more peace about what I was going to be doing.  I realized that I had gone through certain situations in my life, felt certain feelings and experienced certain life change, that for me to share, would be my way giving those things purpose. I failed, I learned, I grew and now it gets to benefit other girls; and that's amazing! 

So lastnight I shared and it was incredible. I felt...comfortable. One word that I never thought I'd say about preaching. I didn't even feel afraid. It was really great being able to share with these young women and have them come up to me and share how much it meant to them. I know I am not the greatest communicator, but God has given me (and all of us!) a voice. 

At the Passion Conference I went to this last weekend, there was a phrase that kept being shared and it was: free people, free people. When we are free, when we know the truth and we tell others about our experience, it changes and frees them too! You have a voice, use it! 

I thought of rewriting my sermon as a blog post, but let's be honest, sometimes hearing a voice talking directly to us, makes a big difference. So, if you'd like to hear my sermon on relationships and the four lies the world tries to convince us of, take a listen! 

Thanks so much for all of your support and kind comments left for me on instagram and twitter! Y'all are the best! 

xo. melisa

**for some reason it starts the video at minute 7... sorry!

S A Y :: do what you're good at

D O   W  H A T    Y O U  ' R E    G O O D   A T 

I read these words the other day and I haven't been able to shake em. I think somehow in attempt to grow, we try our hand at things and let's be honest, we're just not that good at them. For some reason we continue to do these things, either because we're "supposed to", we feel like "we should be good at this", or simply because we want to "get better". But here's the honest truth, we should stop doing the stuff we suck at and start doing the things we're great at! Not only will our work be more satisfying, because generally we love what we're good at, but we'll create work that is great, instead of creating something mediocre. Find your strengths and build on those. Sure, we should work towards turning our weaknesses into... not weaknesses(?), but more than that, we should capitalize on our strengths. As I write this, I start to question whether or not I even know what those are. That's another thing! Sometimes we focus so much on the things we're lousy at that we don't even realize what we're great at! So, stop what you're doing (but finish reading this first), grab a pen and paper, or pull up pages, or grab your phone and open up notes - write down your strengths. For some it may be easy, but I'd venture to say a few of us will stare at our blank page for a moment or two. When we know our strengths and stop trying to "fit in" and be something we're just not, it's so freeing! Instead of being a round peg trying to fit into a square hole, stressing ourselves to be great at something we were never even intended to be good at, we can just simply be who we were created to be. We were all created with brilliant thoughts and ideas, filled with gifts and talents, brimming over with potential, so... what are your strengths? 

S A Y

Forgive me for a moment, while I air out some of my current frustrations with the world. What happened to loving ourselves? When did it become so normal to not be ourselves? What if we stopped judging ourselves and putting the blame on others? Because that's what happens isn't it? We say that others will find us repulsive if we don't wear makeup, or others will look down on us if we're not dressed a certain way. But that's mostly just talk and the root of it is in our heads. 

What if we started to own our face; the one we were born with, the one that resembles our mother's and her mother's. What if we learned to love it, short eyelashes, dark circles, sparse eyebrows and all. What if we looked in the mirror and saw all that was right, instead of all that is wrong. What if we stepped out the door with courage and boldness, not worried of how we would be perceived, but insisting that the world begin to see us for who we truly are.

What if we decided we had had enough and this became our new way of life. Would there be fires and panic? Would the world soldier on? Yes, it would do just that. And women from all around the world would lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. Comparison would no longer be an issue, and insecurity would no longer be a way of life. 

I understand that this is no small feat, but it is a goal. One that I believe we should all seek to achieve. I believe in a day where women will love themselves and not be accused of being conceited. I believe there will be a day when beauty is not measured by numbers of height and weight, but by the smiles she gives and the kindness she shares. I believe in a world where women look different and it's not just accepted, but it's applauded. Where you can look at yourself with excitement in knowing that you are not like any other out there; that you are you and that is not simply enough, but it is everything. 

I'm no longer buying into the ideal. Because "ideally", I would not fit into a specific size, or have hair a certain length, or wear a certain brand, but "ideally" I would simply learn to love myself the way I am. Every day you have the choice to be swayed by the opinions of others, thus hiding yourself under excuses - "oh it's just a bad hair day", "I didn't have enough time to get ready", "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night" - or, you can own up to who you are. We are fatally flawed, but it's our flaws that make us so perfect - they set us apart and make us unique. Without the very things we seek to rid ourselves of, we become less and less. 

Stop shrinking ladies. Stop saying you're not enough. Stop forcing yourself to stay quiet. Stop hating yourself. Love yourself. Stand up straight. Wear the clothes you feel great in. Speak your mind. Have an opinion. Share your views. Seek opportunities. You are worthy and deserving of a beautiful life. Stop believing that you are small and insignificant. You are more. You are more than what you do on a daily basis. You have more voice than you let yourself use. You have more personality than you let yourself share. You are not defined by your looks, your wardrobe, your pay or the car you drive. You are more. You are already who you want to be, you simply have to give yourself the permission to be you. 

And that's all I have to say for now.

xo. melisa

S A Y

S A Y

This question has been plaguing me as of late; "what makes you happy?". What makes you come alive? Is it being alone with your thoughts, or in a crowded room of loved ones? Is it doing absolutely nothing still in your pjs, or going on an adventure - running or hiking through the woods? Is it in a conversation or a moment at all? No, for me I think it's a state of mind. I think it's when my passion is ignited, that I find myself most alive - when I'm doing the very things that set me apart and make my insides feel whole. It's when I'm singing, or sharing the love of Christ -  It's when I'm laughing so hard I cry, or designing something that moves me - doodling and making nonsense into something lovely through words in a post - it's all of the above. I am happiest when my passion is being fulfilled.

What makes you come alive??

xo. mel

S A Y

You will always have critics. The true task is not in pleasing them, but in being true to yourself. If you're living for someone else, you are simply not living at all. And you deserve to live. 

xo. mel

LE WED :: everything I wish I'd known

Having just gotten married two weeks ago, I thought I'd share a little bit about my engagement experience while it's still fresh. I know of several sweet ladies who are currently engaged and so from one bride to another, here's everything I wish I'd known.

A FEW CLICHE THINGS PEOPLE SAY, THAT ARE IN FACT TRUE

In regards to the dress "Once you put it on, you'll just know" - I can't explain it, but something truly magical happens when you put on The Dress. I tried on many dresses at three locations and many were beautiful, but none were "mine". Once I put on the dress I ended up buying, it was like I was looking at the picture I'd always had in my mind. In that dress I felt like a bride, not like a girl in a pretty dress. So yes, you'll just know. And it'll be an incredible moment that you won't get back so soak it in!

"Something will always go wrong" - yes. Just yes. I know you're thinking (just like I did), what could possibly go "wrong". Everything is planned and I can't imagine something major not working out. Well it happens; in spite of all the planning and precautions, it happens. It was a few things here and there for us, and of course the minor issue of our photographer having to cancel two days before the wedding. Things will go wrong, but SO many things will go right! And the mess ups will find a way of working themselves out, turning your wedding into a dream come true.

"Take in every moment, because you're likely not to remember a thing" - I tried to do this as much as possible because I already know how forgetful I can be and I knew that the stress and magnitude of the day would inevitably only make me more forgetful. I would catch myself just stopping what I was doing to just say "You're getting married!" and then cry, ha! You don't have to do the crying part, but the former is necessary. Let it sink in. This is such a bright spot in your life, that to not take it in to it's fullest would be a shame. 

A FEW THINGS I'M GLAD WE DID

+ I decided to not wear any jewelry or anything in my hair. Most people felt I should get more "fancy" and wear jewelry because it was a special occasion. I never wear jewelry or put my hair up. I wanted to stay true to myself and I'm so glad I did! Looking at pictures I feel like I look like myself and I love that. That's not to say that you can't be a little more shiny on your big day, but if it totally goes against you and your personal style, then it doesn't have to be for you.

+ We didn't have a "first look". Elisha was pretty adamant about not seeing me before the wedding. He wanted the first time to be when I was walking towards him down the aisle. This was hard for me because we got married when the sun had already set and I really wanted photos of us during the day. Fortunately, we ended up having an incredible photographer who got super creative. Elisha and I were led by my bridesmaids to a field prior to the wedding. We had our eyes closed the entire time and our photographer posed us and we got some exceptional shots. We would take turns looking at the camera, but never actually seeing the other - it was such a fun experience. The moment Elisha saw me and the expression on his face was priceless, so I am SO happy we didn't go with the first look.

+ We stayed true to ourselves. Sure, there's some really cute and trendy ideas floating around pinterest, but not every great idea has to be great for you. Early on I was pretty set on making this wedding about two things - me and Elisha. I wanted everything to convey who we were and celebrate that with our friends and family. So when people asked what our "theme" was or even colors, I'd just say... it's kind of a mix of things. Because we're kind of a mix of things. Nothing really "matched", but it went together because we go together. I'm really happy I didn't jump on any one bandwagon, but created and bought things that we loved, simply because we loved them. And I think in the end it all flowed and people loved it!

A FEW THINGS I WISH WE'D DONE

+ The little things. There are honestly not a lot of big things I would've changed about the wedding. It was just a lot of little things that sort of slipped my mind in the process. I didn't pack pens. We had our guestbook and advice cards, but I only put out pencils for the advice cards. They ended up getting used for the guestbook and everyone's words aren't as easy to read... I didn't get a chance to finish all of the chalkboard signs that I had wanted to put out...ya know, the little things that really didn't make a big difference.

+ Sparklers. We decided it would be fun to use birdseed for our exit. I made cute pouches (which i'll be sharing a DIY for here in the next few weeks) and filled them with seeds. I thought it was a cute idea because it didn't cause a bunch of "trash" that confetti would create and it was a little different then the weddings I'd been too. Well, in theory, great idea. Actually, it was awful. Not only did people decide it was a good idea to pelt handfuls at our faces, they were so tiny that they got in my dress and in our hair. We spent a good hour trying to get it all out! So, birdseed bad, sparklers, good.

A FEW HELPFUL TIPS

+ Have a plan. Knowing that several things will go wrong, doesn't mean you shouldn't have everything planned to a T. Even setting up Plan B's will be hugely helpful.

+ Hire a coordinator for the day of. Even if it's just a close friend that you trust. You need someone on the day of who will be able to handle the process and answering questions on your behalf. That's why it's best that it's someone who knows you well enough to know what you would want. I'm SO happy I had my dear friend Lydia for our big day - couldn't have done it without her!

+ Go with the flow. Here was my mantra, "at the end of today I will be married" - that was really all that mattered. The rest was fun, and beautiful and exciting, but all that truly made the difference was those two words... I do!

+ Use your resources. If you know someone who has a ton of glassware, ask if you can borrow it. If your friend has an amazing voice, no need to hire a band, just let them do their thing! If you're friend is an incredible artist, ask her to do your invites. We are so blessed with creative and gifted people in our lives that getting everything we needed was so much fun! It makes the wedding even more exciting because people you love aren't just attending, but they're involved.

+ Hand out jobs. If you haven't hired a cleaning crew, then just utilize your bridal party and family. Have a list of everything that needs to get done and assign different people to each job. They will be happy to help and feel like they're able to contribute. 

+ The things you think will matter, kind of end up not mattering. It's funny because the things we poured the most time and energy into, kind of ended up not being the best things about the wedding, or just not really working out the way we thought. For example, our catering was from a food truck called Salsa Limon, from here in Ft Worth. We were SO excited to have the food truck because they were going to actualy be able to drive into the venue and serve from the truck. We love eating there, so it was special for us. After the planning and stressing of having them there, it turned out that the ac on the top of their truck made it too tall to fit in, ha! Day of, it really didn't matter, but it was just funny to think that we thought it would be the highlight and it didn't even come together. But it happens. Just don't get too attached to any one part of the day - except your groom to be!

I am by no means a pro, just a girl who went through it. This was such a wonderful time for me and Elisha. We grew so much closer and really saw how we worked as a team. If your fiance isn't as into the planning portion that's okay too, that's what bridesmaids are for! Which, I absolutely couldn't have made it to the big day without those sweet ladies. And a special shoutout to my sister, the ultimate MOH. But seriously, if she could be a professional MOH, she would make bank - so lucky to have her! Just have fun, take photos of the process, soak it in and enjoy - you're getting married!  If you have any questions about anything leave them in the comments and I'll answer them as best I can!

xo. melisa

L E W E D :: the wait is worth it

This is a post for all of the lovely ladies who are either: currently dating someone that they've been with for several years, or currently not dating anyone and wondering if they will ever meet "the one".

As a Christian, there's this certain pressure to get married young and start your ministry as soon as possible.  Most girls are encouraged to get married during their college years and at my university there was a saying of getting your "ring by spring". As crazy as it may seem to some, I gave into this idea and wondered when I was going to get married. I started dating Elisha when I was 16 and as I've shared before, I was certain that we were going to get married - and so was he. We had initially wanted to get married once I graduated high school (kids in love). Plans changed when I decided to enroll in a 9 month intensive discipleship program called Master's Commission. It was like a mixture of an internship with the church and bible school; focusing on devoting your time and energy on your relationship with God. I was excited, but the only problem was the fact that during your first year, you weren't allowed to date. Which meant Elisha and I had to "break up". I put quotes because yes, we didn't date, we didn't talk or text, but in our hearts we knew that this was a season for us, but we were still going to be together.

So, we postponed the inevitable marriage. I ended up doing another year of Master's Commission and we were able to date again. After that year we moved to Texas and I started school in the Fall and he started his new position. We decided marriage during school just wasn't smart or responsible for us. We wanted to start fresh - no debt or school bills and full time jobs. So we waited.

Now, during these years, don't think I was cool, calm or collected. More often than not, I was a mess! I understood that there was a plan, but I'm a girl and as girls, we tend to freak out. I saw my friends getting married. They were getting married to guys that they had met, dated and married all during the time that Elisha and I had been together. It wasn't easy. Simply because I was just so ready to move onto the next phase with Elisha.

Here's what you need to understand; every moment you are with the man you love, should be enough. period. I remember God asking me, "what if you never got to marry Elisha?" I told Him that was ridiculous and He couldn't possibly be serious. Again, He asked the question and I thought to myself. Well, I would still be with him. If I could never be his wife, it would be beyond difficult, but I love him and I cannot imagine my life without him. It was in that moment that I understood. In whatever season we're in, close or far away from eachother, on a break or going strong, dating or married, we are together. Together forever.

I know the wait is hard. Oh trust me, I know. 

I guess I wanted to share this because it always encouraged me to know that there wasn't something wrong with me - like I wasn't the only one in the boat. There's quite a few in your boat. Most of the time I felt like I was the captain of the boat. But there was a day, when Elisha proposed, that in a single moment, all the waiting, all the tears, all the conversations with God, all the anxiety, worries and wondering, finally made sense. I know there could've been an easier way. I know we could've just gotten married right away, but if we had, I wouldn't have known God's faithfulness the way I do today. I am able to appreciate His loving care for us and His plan in an entirely new way. For that, I am grateful. It's our story. It's unique and it's not the way everyone should have it, but that's what makes our relationships so perfect. 

xo. melisa

T I P S :: how I stay inspired

As much as I wish Pie N' the Sky was my full time job, it's not. In fact I have a wide variety of "jobs" that I do on a weekly basis. Working on things that aren't necessarily "inspiring" can make it difficult to come home at the end of the day and blog about something inspirational and beautiful. It's always been important to me to stay inspired, even in the smallest of ways. Here are a few tips on how I stay inspired.

C A R R Y   A R O U N D   A   J O U R N A L

this is such a simple step to staying inspired. you never know when an idea will hit, so carrying around a journal is a great way to make sure you remember the things that matter most. sometimes I'll be at work and I'll think of a great idea for a post - immediately I can write it down and have a place to brainstorm. pulling out this notebook on not so inspired days, is such a huge help in getting to that special place.

R E M E M B E R   T O   S O A K   I N   E V E R Y   M O M E N T 

your life may be filled with routine and other mundane tasks, but that doesn't mean it's uninspired. take advantage of every moment you have. sure, it might just be a lunch break, but it's also thirty minutes to dream, to write down ideas and think on wonderful things.

F I N D   I N S P I R A T I O N   I N   E V E R Y T H I N G 

maybe you're confined to an office all day - make that office the most inspiring place you know. fill it with photos and candles that inspire the senses. maybe you're not allowed to decorate your space, well then put a fun wallpaper on computer desktop. whether its a plant in the corner, or a photo of your friends, or even a small notebook with a pretty design - there is inspiration all around. either take notice, or create it yourself. 

R E T R E A T 

take a break y'all. i can very easily go a hundred miles a minute and only stop to sleep a few hours. I know that I don't operate my best when I run myself into the ground. who does?? so taking time to relax and mentally unwind is so important. once I can clear my head, then I find that inspiring, wonderful and beautiful things are likely to follow.

These are very simple, but they've become my way of life. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it. How do you stay inspired?

xo. melisa

B E W E L L :: managing migraines

I can still remember when I got my very first migraine. I was in the fifth grade, leaving a basketball game and we were driving past a shell station. Suddenly my vision became funny, my head started pounding and when I looked at the sign, I could no longer see the letter S. It's kind of comical now, but I seriously thought I was dying. I've dealt with migraines for about 13 years. They're not only a terrible headache, but they cause me to lose half my vision, make me nauseous and basically the worst thing ever - making my day to day quite difficult. I've gone through seasons where I've had them everyday for weeks on end, and others where I have maybe one a month. I've gone to the doctor, gotten MRIs, and I've tried every medication. For those of you who may be new to these terrible headaches, or for those who have struggled with them for years like me, here are some of the things that I have found helpful.

T R I G G E R S :: 

knowing your migraine triggers are a huge step in reducing the attack of one. Everyone has different triggers, but some of the main ones are light and food. Light is a huge one for me, especially flickering lights, or extremely bright lights - therefore I avoid raves (ha). Some foods that I steer clear from are coffee and fast food. With coffee, I don't know if it's the actual coffee itself, or the creamer I usually have in it, but I started to notice that everytime I drank some, I would have a migraine that day. In the same way, when I eat fast food, whether it's the grease they use, MSG or nitrates in the meats, I don't do well. If you don't know your triggers, start keeping a journal, even on your phone, where you can note what you eat and some of the activities you do on a daily basis, then you can go back and notice if there's a trend on when you get your migraines. That's what I did, and it changed my life.

S T R E S S :: 

this is the big one. I can honestly say that this is my number one source of migraines. Working on removing some of the stressors in your life, will help improve your overall health. For example, I recently stopped checking my email after work and on weekends. It's incredible what this did for my home life. I was constantly stressed because my email would show me more things I had to get done, that I didn't have time or the ability to do at that moment. So I stopped. The work will still be there in the morning, but there is no reason for me to stress about it right before I go to sleep or the moment I wake up. Little things like that will slowly add up and make a big difference. 

S L E E P :: 

it's incredible what a good night's rest can do. There are two things pertaining to sleep that changed my life. One, tempurpedic pillow. Seriously guys, there was such a change, not only in my sleep pattern, but in releasing tension in my neck and shoulders and ultimately helping in my migraine struggle. You can pick up one of these pillows for about 15 dollars at target. It will change your life. Two, if light is one of your triggers, I suggest getting some dark curtains to cover your windows, not all the time, but at least for the mornings. I've found that if I sleep and wake in a darker area, I'm less likely to have a migraine.

M E D I C A T I O N :: 

medication is obviously one way of minimizing the pain. For me, if I'm able to take an Aleve before the migraine hits, then I can catch it in time and i'm okay. I can generally tell right before I'm going to have one by the way my head starts to feel. If you pay attention enough, your body will always give you warnings.  The best over the counter meds I've found are Aleve - liquid gels, Excedrin Migraine, and Advil Migraine - liquid gels. Liquid gels release faster, so they're always my go to. While using a drug like Aleve, as a preventative, can help, it shouldn't be your answer. Before you know it, you may find yourself taking 3 a day for weeks on end, just to ensure you won't get one. That's not a good place to be at, trust me. If nothing above is helping and you find yourself at this place, go visit your doctor. He may have some advice or even offer to prescribe something stronger.

Quick note : Heat is also another great way to release tension. Most times I'll just take a heating pad and rest it on the back of my neck/head for about 15-20mins. This will help your blood vessels to release and I've found it really helps.

E X E R C I S E ::

exercise is a great way to relieve any sort of tension, so it kind of just makes sense. I've found yoga to be the biggest source of relief as far as exercise routines go. I've been practicing yoga regularly for about two months now and I have not had a single migraine since. Granted I'm doing all of the above as well, so it may not have anything to do with, it, but it sure isn't hurting!

I understand that I am not a doctor. I know not everyone gets these nasty little headaches (read: terrible life altering pain), but for those that do, I hope this is helpful. These are just the things that have worked for me and helped to change my migraines. I know I've learned so much from others who have dealt with these, including my mother. We're not all going to respond the same way, but if even one of these helps in reducing your migraines, then this post was worth it. Here's to being well.

xo. melisa

B E W E L L :: the start of it all

I'm excited to start this new feature focusing on being intentional with our health, called Be Well. Taking care of our bodies is of the upmost importance, and yet more often than not, it seems to take a back burner to the other stuff. This series will help me to focus on taking care of myself and will hopefully be a journey we can take together. I'll share everything from workout tips, healthy recipes, helpful tips, resources and anything else that will help contribute to our well being. 

So lets get started. Since this is a new step we're taking. It's going to require we get things in order. I'm a lister (one who makes lists). It helps me maintain focus to have something I can easily go back to to motivate me. So here's the list of what it's going to take to Be Well.

Hard Work  ::  I enjoy resting. There, I said it. We all do! We wake up early, we go to work, we deal with stressful situations and dang, we rock the mess out of every project our hands touch. So, no, I don't think it's ridiculous that you'd want to lay on the couch for 4 hours after you get home from work. Rest is great, and we'll get to that, but more importantly, moving, working towards something, is even better. Once you determine in your mind that this won't be a terribly comfortable process, the better you'll be for it.

Set High Goals  ::  I'm making a list with a point to make another list, ha! I love lists people. But seriously, set goals for yourself. Maybe it's to lose x amount of weight, or drop to a size ___. Maybe it's just to feel better about yourself, or better emotional health. It may be hard to set a precise goal, but setting one will help you measure your progress. I have a picture of what I want to look like, for me it's mostly toning and feeling stronger, but I'm setting a personal goal to run in a Spartan Race by next Summer. 

Self Confidence  ::  This ones an important one. I think it's important to remember that we're not making ourselves into someone new, as if who we are isn't good enough. We are simply improving upon who we are, taking what we have and using it to it's fullest capacity. You are a fierce woman, capable of doing far beyond what you ever hoped or imagined. You deserve to feel good. If you don't like something about yourself, change it. Whatever makes you feel good and look good, is what you should do. Let this be your mantra, "I'm doing this for me, because I matter." Your health, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual... it matters.

Love What Your Fighting For  ::  Once you set your goals, you'll see that end result in your mind. You have to love the idea of reaching that. If you don't, then when it get's tough, you'll bail. If you love what you're working towards, it'll make getting there completely worth it. And ladies, it'll be worth it.

I'm really excited for this. I've already written down at least 20 posts that I want to share. Please note that I'm no expert, by any means. I'm just a girl who's trying to live a longer and happier life, starting from the root of it all, my own well being. So, if you have some tips, or you want to join in on your blog, leave your link below. We're in this together, so lets encourage one another; we're not alone in this!

xo. melisa

tips + advice :: mani at home

Kelsey's wedding is just around the corner and my nails were in need of some mega help. I love a good manicure like any other girl, but sometimes a mani at home can be just as enjoyable! And it doesn't hurt to have some budget friendly pampering. I thought I'd share my go to nail routine and a few of my favorite products with you. 

tools :: nail clipper, nail file, nail buffer, cuticle nipper, cuticle trimmer, cuticle gel remover, nail polish remover, base/top coat, nail polish (purchased at target + ulta).

trim :: start by cutting your nails to your preferred length.

file :: begin to shape your nail; either squared or rounded. I use a 180 grit medium filing board. then use a 4-way buffing block - which will allow you to even out, smooth, buff and shine.

soften :: fill a cup or small bowl with water and a little bit of moisturizing soap, to soften your cuticles. let them soak for about 3 minutes. apply the cuticle gel to the edge of your nail beds to further soften.

trim :: using your cuticle trimmer, gently push your cuticles back. take your cuticle nipper and begin trimming any excess. careful not to cut healthy skin.

exfoliate :: using a scrub, exfoliate your hands to make them extra soft! I use the tree hut sugar scrub and it leaves my skin feeling great! for pedicures I use this scrub; the scent is so soothing.

moisturize :: moisturize your hands and they'll feel like new. If you can have someone else massage the lotion in, it's even better! I use Johnson's Melt Away Stress lotion and it is simply heavenly! for pedicures I use this one.

polish :: this time around I did a french manicure. I use Maybelline's Color Show in Porcelain Party for the tips. Some other favorites are Mademoiselle by Essie, I Eat Mainely Lobster by OPI, and West End Wonderland by Butter. I also start with a base coat and end with a top coat.

dry :: I was recently introduced to drying drops and it's completely revolutionized my mani process! You must try; and thank me later!

Pretty simple process and the perfect way to treat yourself. You may know of some even better products; in which case, please share! I love finding new products to try!

xo. melisa

tips + advice :: achieving the dream

Having a dream is easy, achieving it is a whole other story. Sometimes I think we settle with simply the idea of the dream - like we're satisfied with the thought that "at least we came up with an incredible dream", but no. That's not enough friends, and you don't need to sell yourself short. Sure, sometimes the dream may come out looking a little different in the end, but if you want it bad enough, it can happen. Let's say it together, It. Can. Happen. Alright, now that we're feeling a little motivated, let me share some tips with you on achieving your dream.

B E  Y O U R S E L F :: 

It's easy to start to compare yourself to others, but the truth is you are not them and sadly they are not you. Because you are remarkable. There is no other human being like you. You bring a whole set of skills to the table that is rare and special. Why do we insist on trying to fit into anyone else's mold? I honestly think it's because we're trying to achieve perfection, and just like with any recipe, we think a pinch here and and a spoonful there, taking out a few addiditves and we have the perfect cake! You are not a cake ladies! You cannot be perfect (sorry), but you can be a perfect you. It's cheesy, I know, but c'mon, we have to learn to love ourselves. If we can't start there, then how can we ever have enough confidence to go into the business world and conquer it, or to be the next Amelia Earhart, going into unchartered territories even when we're being mocked. You're only as bold as you believe you are and you can only go as far as you're willing to.

W O R K  H A R D ::

Some may feel like this is the only step, as it is crucial and generally the most time consuming. Hard work is innevitable to any project, goal or dream. It is crucial that you capitalize on these small beginnings and not take for granted the hard work and effort that you put into your dream now. Because what they say is true - hard work does pay off. There will be a day when the late nights, crying fits, and just plain exhaustion will give way to a beautiful and brighter tomorrow. Hang in there.

Furthermore, be practical with your time. Don't work yourself into the ground and cover it up by saying, "well, I have to work hard..." No. If you're dead, then your dream is no longer. So take care of yourself! Know when enough is enough and call it a day. Utilize your time wisely and plan accordingly.

D O  W H A T  Y O U ' R E  P A S S I O N A T E  A B O U T ::

Reexamine your dream; make sure it is in fact worth all of the time and effort you're putting into it. If it's something you're truly passionate about then the work won't always be work, it'll be fun and enjoyable. It will be a joy to go to work and invest in something you believe in. Follow your heart and trust your instincts. There are characteristics that are innate to your being that are propelling you towards something great. So when you feel an urge to move, for goodness sake, take the leap!

N I X  T H E  C O M P L A I N I N G ::

I fall victim to the complaining monster all too often. It's natural to air your frustrations or worry, but at some point, enough is enough. First of all, because your loved ones (no matter how much they love you or say they don't mind) do not want to hear you complaining constantly. We have to be secure enough to know that people see our battle, they may not feel it but they know it's there. Secondly, we can't find strength in people knowing our weaknesses, we should find strength in knowing that our trials are merely practices making us stronger each day. Believe that "what I'm doing is building my own personal empire, something I am proud of and I consider it an honor to be a part of." 

I should state, it is healthy to have a confidant, someone to lean on and go to for advice and help. This is healthy. If you can schedule a time of the week to meet with such a person and be able to talk through the things you would normally complain about on a daily basis, that would be great! Complaining only makes you more aware of the issues. Talking gets you answers.

D O N ' T  L I S T E N  T O  T H E  N A Y S A Y E R S ::

Can I just say, from personal experience, that sometimes, people have no idea what they are talking about. Yes, sometimes people are purely selfish and terrible. Not everyone is going to agree with your dream. Not everyone is going to back you. Not everyone is going to share kind words with you and in fact they may try to tear you down. This mostly stems from their own issues of inadequacy or their inability to imagine the impossible. You however can, you see beyond the expected and understand that possibilities are indeed within your reach. You must have confidence and boldness. When you're asked to step out of the boat and walk on water, you have to do it! Even when the people around you don't understand it, don't believe it and are telling you not to. It's unfortunate that not everyone has the best intentions, but I do firmly believe that there are few that we encounter that would shut our dream up, because they care. It's because they understand the pressure, the amount of work and effort it'll take out of you, the tired nights and what it may do to you emotionally. They understand on a deeper level how it might change you if you fail, and we can't blame them for being realistic. And at times their voices will come in and try and quiet your passionate heart, but in those moments remember to be strong and not so easily swayed. 

Please note that you are the only one who can judge a person's true intentions when it comes to your dream. If they have your best interest at heart, listen to their concerns, but with all things, take everything with a grain of salt. Use your ability of discernment to take in the good and let the rest fall by the wayside.

T A K E  Y O U R  W E L L N E S S  I N T O  C O N S I D E R A T I O N ::

Staying healthy is a responsibility. It's something that must be tended to if we are wishing to operate to our fullest. This covers everything from our mind, body and soul. A little rest and relaxation is crucial. I'll be the first to admit that not doing anything - as in having free time - is very difficult for me. Mostly because I have every hour of my day planned with something, so anytime I don't, I immediately think, "okay, who can I meet with, or what can I work on, since I have time." People, that is so not okay. I literally have to force myself sometimes to just sit in bed and watch a show without doing anything else. My first instinct is to grab my computer and work on a post while I watch, or work on some sort of craft and deem it hobby. Which, may be true, but for me, it gets me in "work mode" and that's the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. Work in time to relax, because you deserve it.

H A V E  P A T I E N C E ::

It's going to take time. I'm sure you already know this, and honestly it's the one step I know the most about. So much of my life has seemed to have taken 5 times as long to get to than I would've planned. When we envision our life, it makes the most sense to plan for things to just happen, but that's not always realistic. the one statement I've held on to when it comes to being patient is "If it's worth having, it's worth waiting for." If I'm not willing to give up on it, then it must mean something more to me and therefore, it is worth my energy and my time. Be patient and persevere.

E N J O Y  T H E  M O M E N T ::

We talked about the work, the worry, the people who may not believe in you, the waiting and now what... ? The fun! Yes, you can actually enjoy this time in your life. However hectic or crazy it may be, it is still your life and it is still you making your dream happen! That is exciting and something you will never get to relive! I do this thing with the Mr. where I'll randomly stop what we're doing and say "this is real, this is our life.". It's good to take a step and just breathe it all in. Sometimes stating the obvious can be the most revelational thing. We get so used to being who we are because we're changing slowly each day, but have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, I look different? We're changing right before our eyes, and we rarely even recognize it. In the same way, our lives are changing everyday in tiny ways and we need to stop to recognize it! Enjoy this time because you won't get it back - it'll be the days that you look back on when you're living your dream, and think back fondly on. 

I hope this was helpful for you and where you're at in life. I believe that we are all capable of doing and being more than we ever thought possible, if we're only willing. If you want change, then start to change; only you can change your circumstance! Go after the dream!

For other helpful tips and advice, you can scroll through this archive.

xo. melisa

6 TIPS FOR HANDLING STRESS

For a long time I have struggled with controlling my stress. I've always been one to take on a lot. Like, a lot. I hate wasting time and when I sleep too much I feel unproductive. I like to have a plan, with goals and lists; needless to say, I kind of overwhelm myself. You're probably sitting there thinking one of two things, "You're crazy sister, cool it!" or "I know exactly what you mean!!". Well, if you're the fist then consider yourself blessed. My sister is very much like you, a 'go with the flow, take it easy, while still getting what needs to get done' kind of gal. The kind of person that can say, "it's okay, I'll do it tomorrow" is my hero! However, if you're like me, the word stress is one that has changed your life. Today I'm going to share a few tips on how I have managed to battle stress over the last five years.

When I started college, stress was no longer my issue, it was my lifestyle. Everything had a deadline, every hour was planned, and I was doing WAY too much. I was trying to graduate a semester early (as a personal goal) so I did everything I could to get it done (and I did!) I was taking 18-19 credit hour semesters, taking piano lessons, voice lessons, on a worship team at my school, involved in ministry, with a part time job, launching my blog/shop, in a long distance relationship and still trying to "enjoy the college experience". Yeah, welcome stress.

Stress was always present, but there were moments where it just about killed me. Often, it would affect my mood, weight, but several times it was affecting my health. I've dealt with migraines since the sixth grade, but when stress was at it's peak, I was getting a migraine a day. And not like the, "oh man my head really hurts" kind of headache, but I would lose my vision, be totally nauseous and basically useless for a good five hours. Another time I got hives for a week (bluh). And of course there's always that cursed acne. Stress was changing me.

The things I needed to accomplish were getting done, but at the cost of my health. It was a price I wasn't willing to pay, so I had to change the way I was living before it killed me. 

sidenote: in my psychology class, we had to take a stress test, to determine our chances towards certain health issues and stuff. Based on certain things going on in your life you would give yourself x amount of points. At the end we all revealed our scores. I had well over fifty points beyond what anyone else in the class had. My professors eyes got big when I told her my score and said she was afraid I'd have a heart attack. Kind of silly, but before that I never really thought I was abnormal. I thought everyone dealt with as much stress as I did; that a life with a lot on their plate was totally normal. I was wrong. It's not normal.

So, here are some really practical and easy steps that I took to no longer be ruled by stress and I can honestly say that I live my life by these rules. Granted sometimes I have to remind myself of some more than others; I'm a work in progress, but they have changed my life.

Relax  ::  It's okay to not constantly be going, and it's not considered a waste of time to take a breath. If you begin to value rest as much as you do work, then you will have balance. Rest is crucial. This is kind of obvious, but sometimes we run ourselves to the ground and don't really honor that principle.

   +  take a bubble bath

   +  go to bed an hour early!

   +  buy a groupon and treat yourself to a massage

Balance  ::  This one was hard for me, because I want to do it all. It's hard for me to not do something when I know I'm capable of doing it. Does that make sense? I think, "oh what's one more project", or "If I don't help them, then they'll have to do it alone". It's not your job to do everything, just somethings. For me, I had to make a list of priorities. Though I loved being a part of some things, it wasn't fair to give 25% to four things that I sort of enjoyed doing, when I could give 50% to two things I really enjoy or even a full 100% to one thing that I loved! Choose wisely and put your whole heart into whatever you do.

   +  make a list of your activities/projects in list of priority

   +  get an accountability partner, someone who will tell you if you're taking on too much
   + say no, once in a while; because it's okay

Schedule  ::  It's so important to know when it's time to work and when it's time to rest, when it's time to be with loved ones and when it's time to think of new ideas. Sure, our minds are constantly going, but some times it's healthy to shift your mindset and not get stuck thinking and worrying on things, when it won't even make a difference. Sometimes when I get home from work I give myself five minutes in the car to just let my mind rest and shift into blog mode, or hangout with friends mode, or whatever. Otherwise, I know I'll go inside the house and be thinking about something I forgot to do, or who I need to call, or what I need to get done tomorrow. Then I've skimped out on whatever project I should've been able to give 100% to, because my head wasn't in it. Set a schedule and follow it. Work time is work time, home time is home time.

   +  buy/make a planner to carry with you so you always have your schedule in front of you

   +  give yourself a few minutes between each new project to take a deep breath 

Meaning  ::  What are you living for? Whatever it is you find meaning in, let it constantly be at the forefront of your mind. I have to ask myself the question daily... for me, I find meaning in Christ; I want to be the woman He has called me to be. So when I'm feeling stressed, I ask myself, "Is this helping me to grow, to be who God wants me to be?" If the answer is no, then I take a step back and say, it's not worth getting this worked up over, it can wait. If the answer is yes, then I take a step back and make a plan; I know that God's will is not that I be anxious so I try and see how to simplify the task in my head so I don't make too much of it. Everything you do should be for a greater purpose; if it's to become a better person, to become successful, or to be the first woman president, have the goal in mind whenever you set out to accomplish anything.

   +   find a quiet space and just write about your passions, this can help you see what really matters most and 

        the things you should be working towards

   +   write out your purpose and stick it on your mirror, let it be a constant reminder

Let Go  ::  Learning that some things are just out of our control is maybe one of the hardest truths I've had to deal with. I like control. The thought of being "out of control" makes me sick. And yet, there is a certain peace and comfort that comes in knowing that some things just are, and are meant to be, whether we will them or not. Get out of the mindset that life is a race and everything is resting on your shoulders; give some of that weight up.

   +  make a worry jar. write out a worry anytime you have one and when you put it into the jar you're no longer   

       allowed to think on it. it's fun to go back through them at the end of the month to see how they all got 

       resolved.

   +  take up journaling. sometimes you just need to get everything out, but you don't necessarily want to share 

       it with your friend or blog world. a private journal can be so helpful.

Distract Yourself  ::  I don't know about you, but when I know I have things to get done, it's hard for me to enjoy doing anything else I hate leaving anything unfinished. So, I realized pretty early on that I was going to have to find ways to distract myself so I could get a break. Blogging and crafting has been such a huge blessing to me. Though often times it can become work in itself, it's also something I can use to relax and get my mind off of other things. 

   +  Take up a new hobby, or dive back into something you used to love.

   +  Learn to do something you've always wanted to do! (this year I'm resolving to learn the guitar!)

The key is finding your limit. We're all wired differently, so for some having only 5 things on your plate is all you can handle, and that's okay! For others, you can handle ten, but no more. Whatever it is, find it and stick with it. You are worth so much more than any amount of work. Take care of yourself. 

I'm happy to say that I haven't had a migraine in probably over six months. My skin has cleared up, no crazy weight shifts, I'm healthy and it's thanks to controlling stress and not allowing it to control me. Good luck friends! You can do anything you set your heart to.

xo. melisa