Lately I've had the word "evolve" on my mind. I feel like this season is one in which I am evolving. I am growing, changing and learning how to be the woman I feel called to be. At some point, I stopped being a youth, I stopped being a girl, I stopped looking forward to "growing up", and I actually grew up, I became a woman, the woman I hoped to someday be. The day finally came. So it's hard, and confusing, working out how to be someone you never thought you could be. But here I am. Melisa, 26 years old, and feeling just as clueless as I was at 15.
I am assured that I have purpose. And with that purpose comes understanding; an understanding that I am made for more, am capable of doing more, and filled with the hope of there being more. Meaning, I am not done. I'm not done on my journey of becoming; I have not yet become. Although, I am evolving. Like clay in a potters hand, I am losing shape, yet gaining new shape. It is uncomfortable, painful and difficult. More so, it is fulfilling and a joy. I will someday long to relive these days again and so my prayer is that I am present.
Present each morning as I wiggle my toes and I feel the tiny aches in my legs. Present in the laughter that fills our home when we've become delirious because of lack of sleep. Present as I sit at my desk and work towards tomorrows goals. Present as I cook meals that will nourish our bodies and prepare them for the following years. Present as we play with our sweet girl Gretch. Present as I pray for tomorrows future. Present.
It's easy to be dissatisfied with where you are in life, but it's so much better to have joy in knowing that there's more. That someday still exists and things can only get better from here. Your life may not be perfect. I know that mine is not. I would much rather progress over perfection because progress says we're growing. You are stronger each day through your struggles and hardships. You are more, each day, and that is enough.