Yes, we are called to excellence, but perfection is unattainable. The sooner we can grasp that, the more life we will gain from our days. I spent more than a few years trying and searching for "my place". It was rarely at the front of the line, leading triumphantly, and fortunately enough it wasn't in the back with those straggling along just trying to get by, I was (and for the most part still am) a happy medium between the two. I wanted to be seen in the eyes of my peers as one who had it all "together". Needless to say it was a facade that I would never live up to. I always envisioned a better version of myself out there in the world and I wanted so desperately to be her.
Looking back on who I once was and who I am today, I struggle with the thought that though I have grown, matured, and ultimately become different, I am and forever will be me. Though one may say I am a new and improved version of my awkward self, I like to think that this girl I am today was in there all along, I just didn't know then what I know now. My confidence stems from lessons learned, individuals who have spoken life into me, and circumstances that only time could have brought to me. You see, I was always who I am today, I just didn't know it then.
I take great joy in this. In fact I find that it gives me a courage to face the days to come with strength and confidence, knowing that deep within me lies a much wiser me, one who has lost and won, who has seen great victories and terrible losses, who has overcome and been beaten, who has stood and has fallen, who knows far beyond what I know now... that girl is me. She is who I wish I could be today, but who gives me hope in tomorrow, knowing that one day I will be her in my entirety.
We spend our whole lives striving to be the best versions of ourselves, when indeed we are the exact versions we were created to be. Indeed we are our best. God did not create us as less than His best. Life is merely our journey to become who we once were. Through life, mistakes, hardships, temptations, losses, sickness, heartaches and beyond, we have furthered ourselves from our once perfect selves and have thus begun the race to become that which was lost. The beautiful thing is that Jesus fills that gap for us. That which was lost is found, and though we remain imperfect, we gain something far greater, a life with God. I am fatally flawed, but I worship one who is perfect in all ways. There I said it. I know this post is a little heavy and especially if your beliefs don't line up with mine, but whether you believe in God or not, the truth is this; you are important and you matter. You are not perfect, but gosh you are pretty great. You are loved and you are not alone. You can do more than you think you can and one day you will look back on today and wonder why you worried so much. One day you will look and see that you are indeed much wiser, much further, and much stronger than you ever thought you'd be. And what a glorious day that will be.