Coffee Date >> Trust

To Drink: Chai Tea with two pumps of vanilla

On My Mind: As I begin this next phase of my life, I'm full of excitement, nervousness and overwhelming peace. While I may not have a full fledged plan, I find that for the first time in my life I have the opportunity to put my whole trust in God. While yes, I have trusted in Him on many occasion, at this moment in my life, I'm kind of putting all of my cards on the table and lets be honest, it's pretty crazy! I know He has a plan. I know He has one when I don't and even when I do. The joy is knowing that no matter what I do, His plan will prevail. So what about you? Have you been at this moment in your life? How did it go? I was talking with a friend the other day and I told her, "it feels like there's a stillness; I'm not sure if it's the calm before the storm, or if it's settled and the sunshine is going to come." I'm ready for either, but I feel so strange not knowing "what I do." You know, I was defined by "I'm a student, I go to college... it's kind of my job." Now, it's, "I'm a... patiently waiting? Currently trusting in God?" Exactly, I have no name. I've in no way lost a sense of myself, that's not what I'm saying. It's just, you know when you're a kid or even a teen and you think, "Someday I'd like to do that, or become that, or if I had more time (like once I graduate) I'll be able to devote more energy into that..." Well now is that time!! Now is the moment where I can look back on and either be filled with regret or know I made the most of it. 

Unless you've been in this position, it's very hard to explain and if you have, well I'm sure you're nodding your head right along. It's a cool place to be. Yes, I said it was cool. I know something exciting will come of this patient waiting game and in the end I can say, "Yes! My God is so cool, look at how far He's brought me!" Which, I already say, but I can say it... still. This whole shpeel, by the way, is what I want to tell every person that asks me, "So what are your plans?" You know the infamous question. Sometimes I want to simply smack them in the face and say, "I really don't know what I'm doing with my life right now. No, that doesn't make me a loser. It makes me brave because I trust God enough to know that He has a plan. Am I going to be homeless or starving? Absolutely not, ya crazy! Will I get a job? Yes, of course! I'm an intelligent, fully capable young woman who can and will do great things. I'm okay with waiting, so don't judge me. That is all." ... with a smile of course.

I just want to do the most with what I have. I have a list of skill sets that I would hate to not use, simply because I can't find a way to. Does that make sense. I want to do God's will. whatever that may mean. For now it means getting a job (anything for now) and patiently waiting for "the real job".  I just feel so aware of time. I will never be 23 in this position again, this is it, this is my one shot. It's so cheesy and cliche, but I must say it, I just want to live life to it's fullest; make the most of every moment. Thanks for letting me share that with you.

I hope to have these talks with you more often. Mostly because it's good to be open and honest, and because I know sometimes it's good to hear that you're not alone. 

Until Next Time: Let's plan to meet next week and until then let's take our biggest worry, right it down, put it in a box, or a drawer, or under your doormat, and let's pray about it. Let's give it to God and trust that in a week, yes even one week, He can take that worry and turn it into something that is no longer causing us to stay up late at night, but is in fact working towards our good. If God is for us, who can be against us? It's time we stop standing against ourselves. Good luck!

xo.

Melisa